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Chris Sky Disheartened To Learn Nation’s Minivans In No Shape To Convoy To Ottawa

thepostrational by thepostrational
May 2, 2022
in Canada
Chris Sky Disheartened To Learn Nation’s Minivans In No Shape To Convoy To Ottawa

GoToVan from Vancouver, Canada, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons/ID 4220066 © Imagecom | Dreamstime.com

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Looking to stay relevant with another convoy to Ottawa, Canada’s own human Sing-A-Ma-Jig, Chris Sky was saddened to find out that our nation’s minivans have too many things wrong with them to risk driving to the nation’s capital.

With banging noises coming from their front end and power windows that go down but not up, there is just too much uncertainty, especially with the ones that haven’t been started all winter.

Once known as a reliable vehicle, minivans have taken a backseat to SUVs in the past decade, something Chris Sky didn’t notice due to his lips covering his eyes all the time. He was really banking on riling up minivan owners to the point that they wanted to convoy up to Ottawa in protest and with trucks and motorcycles out of the way, the next logical step would have been minivans.

Now, Sky is back at square one looking for the next class of vehicles he can exploit in an effort to keep his megaphone from seizing up before he even has a chance to finish the Paybright payments on it. In the meantime, he will just have to let Canada’s lawyers go on thinking that they know anything about the law and the sheep will temporarily have to believe that science is real.

As of right now, he’s considering E-Bikes as the next convoy but he’s worried about the amount of time it would take them to get there. If he’s left alone with his thoughts too long, the veins start bulging out of his forehead in a worrisome way. First, he must research electricity to make sure it’s even real.

Keep your eyes peeled for TBD Freedom Convoy Summer 2022

Tags: Chris SkyConvoyFreedomMinivansSheep
thepostrational

thepostrational

The Post Rational covers news in Ontario that the other outlets don't cover. While they spend their time on facts, editing and well-photoshopped visuals, we just keep churning out strings of words that evoke some sort of emotion.

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